via Facebook... What I Did This Week, by Timber. I am working hard on properly training Soft Lady to my high Pirate standards. For my siblings out there, and any puppies trying to train a human, here is some advice... You have psychic powers, use them. Your stare can make humans move. Also woolies, cats, small human puppies, hoppities, birds, airplanes that are flying over your yard, and EBIL school buses. A head tilt needs to be used wisely. With great power comes great responsibility. Don't waste them on dry Milk Bones, save them for liver treats and special toys. I am working on my Tervie Mind Meld. Mornings are best, when Soft Lady is in bed. I slam my forehead against hers and then fall on top of her. While our minds are squished together I try and implant ideas in her head... "extra treats for Timber" or "MORE BALL THROWING!". At first I thought that the harder I slammed my head into Soft Lady's the stronger the meld, but that didn't quite work out...there is a point where she just yelps and tells me to KNOCK IT OFF RIGHT NOW SO HELP ME... Also, I have found a way to get Soft Lady up no matter how deeply asleep she is. I just start licking her arm pits. She will ALWAYS wake up and look at me, and usually mumbles something about "I did ask for a smart dog, didn't I?" and then I can cuddle in and she will rub my belly or my head. Also, a poke in the eye will wake her, but that is for when I need her to take me outside RIGHT NOW.
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