via Facebook... New Year's Day, by Timber... Obviously I don't need to change much, because I was born kinda perfect, but I do have a few goals... Increase my breakout skill! Last night Soft Lady tried to put me in the front room and I managed to ESCAPE! I also ripped the door from the hinges (just the bottom one) and slammed Soft Lady's knee (sorry!) but a Boneless Terv has skills at evading and moving around! Those weavey pole things are great training for getting around people! Increase my counter surfing skills. My bendy straw neck can ALMOST reach to the back of the counter where soft kitty food hides... Train Soft Lady to run faster. Also, I wish I could understand what she wants me to do. When she I'm having a private moment with George Cat why would she tell me to Leave It? It makes no sense...I just ignore her... Also, I need to renegotiate my contract. 500 kisses a day just doesn't do it, I need more, and also extra snuggles and more brushing. I like brushing. It makes me frisky ;) Herding cats. 'Nuff said. Access the cat harvest. Soft Lady keeps everything she collects for herself, and I think that's just selfish. OH! And Soft Lady tells me I need to learn more manners because I'm going to get to see all my Pirate siblings and Soft Lady doesn't want me to do my Fuzzy Butthead With Brains Falling Out impression. But I think having all the Pirates under one roof will let use our combined skills to pillage and plunder! Well, that's all I can think of now. What goals do you have?
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